Human relationship in general - from my view.

Human relationship in general - from my view. 

（今なら語れる）

Human & Nature.
Not much related to this article though.

My Mom is a Cancerian and I am a Sagittarian. I'm not a zodiac obsessed neither not a blood type maniac, but apparently our compatibility is 'turbulent'. In reality, I couldn't find much resemblance in ourselves except the darkness aura that appears when we're surrounded by men and the conservative, reserved minds. And as any other normal human beings, we quarreled when it comes to things we can't agree with, while otherwise, we get along just perfect.

But what is more important than compatibility? And maybe, the most important one in human relationship, regardless of the blood relation or not?

I believe we all hear the word, 'thoughtfulness' up next after compatibility. It exists in family, in friends, in colleagues, in society, right? How far you think the thoughtfulness affect your relationship? And how is it really work between humans?

It's really a simple question. So it should require a simple answer. But as we go with this, we'll find that it's not really that easy, in actual.

I give you an example. There are two good friends, let's say, best friends. They get along so fine, they can share their stories and secrets, admirations and flaws of each other. They talk a heart-to-heart talk. For one thing, they have different thoughts on one thing - let's say, about food. One doesn't like raw food, in fact she can't really eat raw food, so she won't order or eat sashimi but the other loves sashimi very much so she'll enjoy her sashimi even when the sashimi-no-go friend is present.

So, what do you think of their compatibility? Their thoughtfulness?

The sashimi-no-go will hint her disgust when the sashimi-lover enjoys her favorite sashimi. The sashimi-lover might as well persuade the sashimi-no-go on trying the sashimi.

Or, maybe the other ways; The sashimi-no-go will forced herself to eat sashimi, Or; The sashimi-lover won't order sashimi during the two hangs out together.

Or simply, the two enjoy their own favorites without really care what the other is having, as long as they could share their quality time as best friends together, either during having the meals that one hates and one loves, or during the whole friendship.

From the situations above, which one are you?

The compatibility between the two best friends remains the same. But the thoughtfulness changes a bit from one to other situations. And unfortunately, I can't choose what's best thoughtfulness among those. Well, limited to this example, perhaps.

If you ask me, I'll go with the last - I don't mind what my friend(s) are having, because the reason of us befriend is not because we're sharing same favorite food or other favorites - let's say, favorite actor, favorite movie/drama genre, favorite books etc. It might be the trigger for us to notice each other during 'get to know' stage, but when we are already in the level of best friends, none of those matters anymore.

Yeah well, favorites are no big deal. We all have our own taste and flavor. But it will be a big deal when you see it from a different point for a different issue.

Let's say, your best friend did something wrong. Yes it's wrong regardless seen or judged by anyone. How you describe a best thoughtfulness you can give, as a best friend?

Are you going to,...

1. Approve what she did because she's your best friend.

2. Not approve what she did but you regret it and tell to your other friends.

3. Not approve what she did and leave her to bear the consequences alone.

3. Not approve what she did but pretend that you don't mind about it.

4. Not approve what she did, tell her the right way, let her repent & receive the punishment if she deserved it and support her during her recovery state.

5. Approve what she did and keep on agreeing and saying yes to whatever she does follows.

There are many other possibilities to be listed, but if you were to choose from above, which one will you?

To me, this one applies to not just friends, but also families, colleagues, lovers and also society. Well, the method of approach might vary a little from one to the other but, we all should know, what right is right, what wrong is wrong. Even if it's your dad, your mother, your sisters, your brothers, your boyfriend, your desk mate at the office. You can't change the black to white. You can't say it's okay to steal other's belongings because it's your little brother who did, right? You can't say that it's okay to throw an empty can into the pond because it's your boyfriend who did, right? How are you going to deal with each situations will be slightly different but, wrong is still wrong.

Unless it's for something in between. You know, when it's not black but not white. It's not wrong but it's also might not the right way to do. Perhaps, there are better ways, huh?

So, what are you going to do if it's you?

I leave you to answer all the questions above while you're reading this, but I'll write down what I do, here.

When found or knew my best friend/family members did something wrong, I'll tell her/him what she/he did is wrong, tell her/him the right way, let her/him repent & receive the punishment if she/he deserved it and I will support her/him during her/his recovery state - no. 4 on my list.

For me, this is love and also, the (best) thoughtfulness I could give to someone(s) really important in my life. We all heard about staying by someone's side during their tough times is the way to prove how important, how much they mean to our lives. And we're told so many times that the way to do this is to approve what they did; in obvious, in silence or in pretense. We call this 'support' or 'help'. But, what do we really support there? What do we really help there? Is that also the form of thoughtfulness? Because we are best friends, we pretend that we don't see what they did?

Many or few of us who read this might go different and opposed of me. That's why I mentioned up there, this is my doing. And I wanted you to know that, it's not all the time that I'd be courageous to stick to this. Sometimes I just follow my heart. What I do is, I'll keep everything to myself. I won't tell anybody, I won't approve what have been done but I just can't help directly to fix the done and the incoming consequences. I'll pull a little distance but I'll be there when he/she came to find me. I'll try my best to not let him/her repeat the same thing, but I won't encourage or stop him/her either. And this is also what I do when it's in between - black or white, right or wrong.    

So yes, this is a part of how I view and define and practice of human relationship. I'm still learning and trying and improving. I do not say that I'm right, in fact I might be wrong. As people say, none in this world is much more complicated than human and their relationship(s). And I simply can't find a way to deny this.